Taking Time: To Check In

Okay, so it's time for a little update.  I've come back from a lovely vacation and need to catch up a bit on my much neglected writing.  While I have many projects on the go, profiles of my gurus, a voracious bucket list and the like, perhaps it's time for something a little less formal.

A wise friend once told me, don't tell me what you're going to be up to if there's no follow through.  Something about being a tease....and I wonder why I'm single.  :)

So here it is, I'm taking time to check in.  I'm hanging up the carefully constructed prose for a while and bringing my personality to the blogosphere and I gather from some feedback that I've left a couple things wanting for some closure.

First, my delicious French biscuit, Daveed. Nothing here has changed and that is absolutely perfect by me.  We spend time together, we coax each others egos, we flirt terribly, we laugh and we send each other back into the world with a smile.  It's more giggles 'n cuddles than fire 'n trysts. It isn't anything more than that and yet it is absolute perfection. 

Second reaching out to the ex last month.....  Liz!  Learn your own lessons woman!  Mulligan's work best in a game of pool, or golf, or just about any other sport outside of tonsil hockey.  Leave the ex's to fester in EX-ile where you sent them.  And try not to forget that no matter easy on the eyes they may be, they're probably just as hard on the heart as they ever were.

Oh and on that note, all the nuclear stress tests were worth it and it turns out that I don't have heart disease!  Yea!  Oh even better, I'm not just a head case (which was a very real concern, obviously).  Double Yea!!  No, my friends,  I lay up at night with insomnia writing my masterpieces of verbal diarrhea due to a nasty case of esophagitis (translation:  mind-numbing, side-splitting heart-burn).  Which left unmanaged could lead into a rather aggressive form of cancer, but hey, the good news is that it is totally manageable with diet.  Not my heart, not my head and totally manageable!  Now there's the hat trick I was hoping for!!! Whoohoo!

Wait a minute....what do I have to give up to manage it?    Oh for starters, chocolate.  Shite!  And while I'm at it, apparently I might want to avoid spicy food.  Double Shite!!  And I should trade in wine for water.  Triple Shite!!!!   And lastly, I should avoid coffee at all costs.  MOTHER%@#@#$%!!!!!!!   People are going to die!!!  (At the time of writing, I am desperately seeking a second opinion whilst I flirt with disaster and watch others at Starbucks enjoying my treasured venti skinny vanilla lattes.)

So there we have it kids.  I'm 40, am not getting frisky with Frenchies or exes, am not having any more flavorful food, no more chocolate, no more wine and absolutely no coffee.  One might think I'm not having any more fun.  Think again my friends!!!  I am still on a voracious mission and am having a ball switching things up a bit.  Going to get my sizable derriere back into the gym so I can soak up some endorphins and use that high in delighting myself in new people, new opportunities and this unbelievable gift of life.  

By the way, my very last marble from the pretty little jar that my friend gave me, by pure coincidence of fate, was "Love".  As luck has it, I am pretty spoiled as it is when it comes to love.  Perhaps not in romantic love at the moment, but I am ridiculously blessed with family and friends all around me who make my life so rich.  So I decided to gift my little marble to someone who I knew was going through a crisis of love and could really use a boast to her sense of optimism.  You know what happened?  It worked!  Though that marble was received by my friend with gratitude, that gratitude was also tempered by the clouds of despair and defeat that had been circling her relationship of 3 years and threatening to break her heart.  I don't think either one of us really believed that the little marble had any special powers to change things for her, but somehow, as luck would have it, that very day, she gathered her strength and topped off the day with a watershed conversation with her beloved and they managed to bridge all the challenges they were experiencing and express to each other a renewed and emboldened commitment to each other.    The gift in return of seeing my friend's spirits buoy filled me with more cheer than I ever would have if I had kept that silly marble for myself.  It was the last and most extraordinary gift of delight that the pretty little jar of marbles ever gave me.

There was a profound lesson in that for me.  If we cannot use all the gifts that we have been blessed with, others may be able to put them to extraordinary good.  So from here on out, and in honour of my friend that gifted me the jar of reminders of what to take time for, I am going to make sure that I make every effort to share what I can. 

As for taking time,...it would appear that my pretty little jar is all out of time, or at least the marbles that once filled it up with daily missions for me to undertake.  So I am working now on a Voracious Bucket List to set the stage for adventures to come.  Hope you'll join me on what I hope will be an wild ride full of vitality and meaningful moments.  

Let life be epic!

I Believe She's Amazing - Join the Movement

This post will be short and sweet.  I just want to share one of the most incredible tributes to amazing women everywhere that I have ever seen.  It touched my heart and I am sure it will touch yours too.  

Kim MacGregor organized a flash mob at the Toronto Eaton Centre as well as a corresponding movement to recognize amazing women everywhere, in memory and honour of her amazing friend, Erika Heller who lost her 4 year battle against colon cancer.  

This brought me to tears in the most beautiful way.  I believe.  :)

Please check it out at:  http://www.ibelieveshesamazing.com/

My Gurus - Teaching Me to Soar to Impossible Heights

Photo Credit:  1971yes, iStockphoto

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. 

Learn as if you were to live forever.”  

-- Gandhi 

The world we live in is a very fast paced one and it is very easy for each of us to fall into autopilot just so that we can do everything that we’re supposed to. We fall into a rut.  We spend more time worrying about the “shoulds” and far too little time getting around to our “woulds” and “coulds”.  Routine does not do much to light our passions.  Since routine lends itself to the belief that nothing changes, we lose any belief in our own ability to effect the change we want to see and we become too world-weary to see any examples around us in others that might prove otherwise.

Just like anyone else, I am guilty of all of the above. I am not impervious to the deflating effects of routine, responsibility and expectations.  But I have pursued a lifelong collection that helps me to shake off clouds of negativity and self doubt and instead pushes me to soar to impossible heights.  Where some people might collect stamps or sports paraphernalia, I collect leaders, teachers and mentors; I call them my gurus.

It seems wherever I look, I find people all around who are bright, shining beacons of what one person can do when sufficiently determined or motivated.  I take them into my heart and commit myself to learning their lessons and executing their teachings with my own interpretation.  When things start to seem too routine or a little dark, I call on my gurus who are very quick to help me turn back on the lights and switch things up a bit.

My gurus are countless in number and they all exhibit traits that inspire me in many different ways, but the end result is that they always leave me with the yearning to do more, to be more and to connect more.

They can inspire me to strive for more fun, to live life to the full or to reach out and help someone who can’t help themselves.  They inspire me to dream big and to chase those dreams without abandon.  They inspire through their example, through laughter, through provocation and through their art.  They inspire by overcoming adversity and by making the most of every opportunity big or small.  They inspire by dreaming of things that do not exist and they bring them to life.  They inspire by turning a deaf ear to naysayers and galvanizing their resolve.  They inspire me even through the simple act of greeting each day with infectious exuberance and cheer.

Extraordinary athletes, statesmen, activists, artists, writers, musicians, agitators, visionaries, and the many remarkable people I encounter day-to-day all excite my mind, fire up my passions and instill into me an unswerving belief that with dedication and perseverance, anything is truly possible.    Some have long since parted from this world, others are very much alive and kicking, but they each infuse me with enthusiasm every single day.

Collectively, my gurus encourage me to make possible the impossible.  I channel them all and I lay before them a willing student, eager to learn what they have to teach.  I hold my heroes to a very high standard and they in turn push me towards striving to meet that same standard.  I hold great faith that pairing the infinite ways they inspire me with my own ingenuity, life will hold many remarkable journeys ahead.

But like any good collection, I think it’s important to put my gurus on display, so from time-to-time, I will write about a particular guru who has lit my fire and share what it is that I think we could all take away from their example.  Because in a time in which we all believe a little less in our leaders and in ourselves, I think we could use reminders that anything really is possible and it only takes one determined person to make it happen.

Here’s to possibilities.

 

A Voracious Manifesto: Virtues of Voraciousness

As I mentioned in my very first post, 40 just happened to be the age when a thirst for living a little more boldly, daringly and even just a little outrageously was born. I have spent too many years being very well-behaved and not enough pushing the envelope. It has been no great tragedy, since I am rich with blessings that I fear I do not deserve. But I have not taken this gift of life and made the most of it. I’ve been letting wishes and dreams escape me without much of a fight. This is excusable only to the point where some things in life may lie outside my control for reasons, be they financial, medical or otherwise. However, more often than not, the only thing standing in my way was myself, which I can no longer accept. 

In the words of Friedrich Nietzche “He who has a strong enough why, can bear almost any how.” In that spirit, I have resolved to turn all “why nots” into “hows”. I have resolved to shed all mental roadblocks and to pursue unchartered terrain. I have resolved to embrace my inner dreamer, my gigantic imagination and my continual sense of optimism. With these qualities in my toolbox, I not only believe that anything is possible, I am going to be extraordinarily well equipped to make sure of it.  

This is where living voraciously comes into play. For my purposes, living voraciously is binding yourself to an insatiable curiosity and a fierce desire for all the tastes, adventure, experiences and relationships that life has to offer, which can only be satisfied through the relentless pursuit of them.  

Ben Franklin was 20 years old when he had the wisdom and discipline to prescribe a set of virtues that to help him achieve all that which he dreamed of and valued. It may have taken me a touch longer to exercise that kind of foresight, but I now humbly take up the torch and put forth my own set of Virtues of Voraciousness to help me to live voraciously and to achieve that epic experience I so richly desire. 

Limitations be damned. Joie de Vivre is my new battle cry and my Virtues of Voraciousness will be my modus operandi.  

Let there be more yes and less no; more possibilities and fewer excuses. Let no dream be deemed impossible and no desired experience be left unexplored. Let life be epic.  

Virtues of Voraciousness  

Say Yes  

     Seize each opportunity.

  

Identify Your Dreams  

     Develop a list and read it every morning.  

Channel your Idols  

     Mirror the traits in them that inspire you. 

Push the Envelope  

     Surprise even yourself. 

Speak your Mind 

     Leave no one to guess. 

Take Risks 

     But be not reckless. 

Sustain Optimism  

     Even in the face of all obstacles. 

Be Relentless  

     Pursue any means of achieving your dreams; fatalism is not an option. 

Abandon Inhibitions  

     Be true to yourself and let yourself go. 

Nurture Relationships 

     Be present, be authentic, be giving of yourself and share your affection.  

Love Fearlessly  

     Hold nothing back, save misplaced pride.  

     Cherish every moment be it short and sweet or eternal.  

Embrace Passion  

     Chase after that which lights your strongest emotions and desires. 

Maintain Curiosity  

     Broaden your perspective of the world through persistent inquisitiveness.

Hug Trees 

     Smell the roses; don’t allow your senses to be impervious to the marvels of nature. 

Eat Your Greens  

     Live a healthy life so that you can enjoy a voracious life. 

Support Others 

      Lift as you climb. 

To be human is to err, so I may fail to embody each virtue at all times, but let me die striving for perfection in each.  

So there we have it. I've laid out the tools of my trade so to speak. So I'd better start by putting them into action. So for today, I think I'll start with calling upon my brash optimism and taking a risk by reaching out to a man who I miss dearly, but have really no reason to believe that the sentiment is shared. But in the spirit of fearlessness and chasing your dreams, here goes nothing.... :) Wish me luck.  

Coming Soon: A Voracious Bucket List

They're Sorry....But It's Not Even Close to Enough

A story by Michael Rundle posted in today's Huffington Post is about the full one-page adverts claiming how very sorry the people at News Corp are for engaging in the practice of phone hacking.

I have spent a lot of time reflecting in these last weeks how very sad and tragic this whole situation is.  Murdoch & Co have managed to bring about a world of untold and unnecessary heartache and to malign the entire press industry (for better or for worse).  

In many ways, it seems to me that this crisis brings to light far-reaching governance and accountability issues inside our press just as the architects of the financial crisis of 2008 managed to do to the financial services industry with their excessive greed and manipulation of facts.   Because each industry failed to internally regulate and demand transparency and accountability, the reputation and integrity of both industries have suffered devastating degradation and must achieve extensive overhauls in order to salvage any amount of their credibility.

It strikes me that it's likely that the tip of the iceberg has only been discovered so far and that the reach of the practice and it's victims will prove to be international in scope and linked to events that have moved us all.  There is really no telling how far the repercussions of this will be felt.  It's possible that our cherished ideals of freedom of speech and freedom of the press could be called into question.  I suppose with all good things, all freedoms should be exercised with a degree of moderation and good judgement.  Both qualities seem to be unconscionably lacking in the case of phone hacking.

So I went back and spent some time reading about someone I have always greatly admired, Edward R. Murrow.  Over the years, I have placed Mr. Murrow in the company of my personal gurus on account of how, in the face of extreme and potentially catastrophic pressures, he managed to unswervingly hold himself to higher ideals in the pursuit of truth. This man is a giant paragon of integrity and it's sad that he's not here today to straighten out Murdoch and Co and save a flailing press industry that cannot compete with social media for immediacy, urgency, truth and the participation from the multitudes.

Given a chance, this is what I think Edward R. Murrow might have to say on the matter.

"We cannot make good news out of bad practice". -- Edward R. Murrow

"To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful." -- Edward R. Murrow

It's absolutely tragic that Murdoch and Co. couldn't have risen above the single-minded pursuit of ratings and profit and instead rigorously followed a few choice tips from a class act from the past.  We would all be so much the richer for it.

Murdoch and Co. have brought this on themselves.  I just pray the fallout will be a media industry that observes a greater adherence to higher ideals because in times like these, we could really use a press we can believe in.

I have nothing else to say on the matter, save:

"Good night, and good luck!" -- Edward R. Murrow

The Power of a Compliment

Caught this post by Amy Sky in Huffington Post this morn.  It's about the power of a compliment and a positive attitude.  It's so true.  A few positive words can go a very long way through a domino effect.  This is perfectly in sync with Virtues of Voraciousness that I'm working on as well as the kind of attitude I've been purposefully adopting lately.  It's so easy for us to give in to daily frustrations and a negative bent.  A positive attitude comes down to a choice and a little effort, but the rewards can be infinate.  For one, I plan to be living proof of it.  :)  Anyone with me?

Taking Time: For a Very, Very Sweet Kiss

It has been a very busy week of "taking time".  I took time to kiss, to organize, to hop, to admire, to sleep, to dance, to bless and to believe.  All resulted in some very voracious living and highs in my week, but in the spirit of less is more, I'll just share one of my daily missions from the week that stood out from the rest.  Mostly because I started writing about taking time to kiss and it got rather wordy.  I had to pull the plug somewhere.  :)
 

Tuesday:  Took Time to Kiss

I've been drinking coffee since I can remember.   The love affair started as a young girl who enjoyed a proper adult afternoon with a particularly hip aunt over a cup of coffee.  It blossomed into full blown lust and desire when I worked my way through University at a gourmet coffee house.  There was never an evening that I didn't receive a heroes welcome from my friends in residence as I brought home free coffee goodies every night and I am more than certain a good number of us would not have obtained our degrees were it not for our daily dose of chocolate covered espresso beans.

I have a very unusual but fulfilling relationship with my coffee.  I talk to it.  I hug it.  I miss it when it's not there.  I REALLY miss it when it's not there.  Where 70% of the body mass of most people is water, mine is Skinny Vanilla Latte with a side of Double Double with Milk.  I joke about many things, but my coffee saves lives,....every day.  No joke.   With coffee, I am sugar, spice and everything nice.  Without it....I am a cautionary tale of the highest order.

Everything was swimming along very nicely between me and my coffee until I developed some surprisingly regular chest pains.....WTF?!?!?!   That was NOT part of the deal Coffee!  So since coffee and I developed some irreconcilable differences, I found myself seeking the help of a wide variety of medical professionals, resulting ultimately in two (not one!!!) nuclear stress tests over a period of two days.

During a nuclear stress test, you are injected with radiation into your bloodstream so that your heart can be monitored while you run on a treadmill. Have I mentioned before that both legs have had reconstructive surgery multiple times?  The fact that I hobble like a three-legged dog, the fact that numerous signs instructed passerby's "DANGER", "Lead Lined Cabinets" and "Do Not Enter" and the fact that the nurse injecting me did so by holding onto a needle that came from a lead tube were all perhaps a tiny bit daunting, but these were not what sent terror blazing into my innermost core about the tests.  No.  All of that was a piece of cake compared to the cruel and inhumane punishment they had in store for me. 

No, the fear started to set in when a nurse told me about the test prep.  "You have to give up all forms of caffeine for 48 hours."

"Say what?" I asked in horror.  Thinking quickly, I decided to see if I could slip in a play on words, "Pardon me, did you say give up all forms of morphine?  No problem, consider that done."

"No."  The nurse replied with no sense of satire or mercy.  "No caffeine.  No coffee, no chocolate, no tea.  You have to give up caffeine for 48 hours."

In utter desperation I pleaded, "Will you negotiate?  Will you trade you coffee for a good old fashioned fast?  Who needs food anyway?"

"No caffeine. Period"

As I let the nightmare sink in and wondered how I would manage to tame the monster that lurks inside, the nurse pipped up again..."Wait a minute."

I looked up at my phone with a glimmer of hope stirring in my heart.  "It says here that you're scheduled for two nuclear stress tests over two days.  So since you can't have caffeine for either one of them, you actually can't have caffeine for a full 72 hours.  You can't have caffeine from 9:00am on Saturday morning all the way through to Tuesday after the last test.  You'll probably be done around noon."

"Miss?".......

"Miss?  Are you there?"

"Is Ashton Kutcher there, cause I think I'm being punked."

"No Miss.  Do you understand the test prep Miss?"

"Miss?".......

"Yes."  I barely could speak, tears welling up in my eyes, my throat.

"Nurse?"

"Yes?"

"If the sole purpose is to stress me out, mission accomplished.  Can we please do the test now?"

"We'll see you on Monday Miss.  No caffeine after 9:00am on Saturday."

So there it was.  Coffee and I were going on a trial separation.  I didn't like it.  Not one bit.  But maybe it was going to work out for the best.  I didn't see how I had any choice in the matter.  It seemed it was as if it was a matter of "Quit or bust".  I love my coffee, but when pressed into a corner, I love life more.  So I dug in and committed myself to the process.  I knew it was going to be rough.

And it was.  When briefed about what was in store for the following week, colleagues at work elected to take Monday and Tuesday as vacation days.  My friend who car pools with me dained not to speak for fear for her life.  I promised myself against all shakes, sweats, agitation and irrational streaks to rise above and exude nothing less than calm and tranquility.

It didn't work.   By the time Monday rolled around, I was solidly into my second day of withdrawal.  People who didn't know me sensed danger and were repelled by me as if I were Moses parting the Red Sea.   I literally sweat it out by the bucket load.  My vision was filtered by a black film over my eyes, and yet, I was capable of manslaughter with a single glance.  I found all movement to give way to feeling faint (and I had a date with a treadmill coming up).  Apparently my cute little addiction was a big problem, but I thought this had to be the worst of it.  I thought since the work day was over, the rest would be all downhill.

Wrong again, or at least in part.  My sincere apologies to Michael Douglas for some insane and unwarranted behavior I exhibited by poking him repeatedly in the back of his head with a stick,  (at a pool party nonetheless), as I attempted, unsuccessfully, to sleep through night tremors.  That is a scene that I hope never to relive.  Would much rather share a pint with him instead as he regales me with stories of voracious living Hollywood style.

But, I was right in part as well.  By the time Tuesday morning showed up, I woke up early with boundless energy and feeling like I had been restored to a version of myself that I had not known in a very long time.    I showered, got dressed and put on my makeup.

When I looked at the mirror, I saw someone, all bright eyed that I don't ever get to see in the morning.  She was prettier than I ever give her credit for and looked like the kind of person who had her shit together and lived life to the fullest.  She was someone I want to be.  Wait a minute....

As it dawned on me who I was looking at, I finished applying my lipstick, leaned into the mirror and gave her a big kiss!  She deserved it.  :)  Sweetest kiss she's received in a long while at that.

So, as for coffee, since the tests, I flirt with it every now and then, but we're experimenting with a much more open relationship now.  This could be fun.  I'm an addictive personality without an addiction to claim as my own at the moment.....Might be fun looking for that next hit.  :)

Any takers?  Muah!

Photo Credit: iStockPhoto